Yesterday armies must have been praying. Thank you! Mike was able to deal with the pain yet another day, get a great nap, make it to church for worship, and drink all his BOOST! Pray for endurance for us. Mike is getting tired and emotionally this is wearing on both of us. He continually feels as though he is choking, he still can't talk, is very fatigued, nauseated, and in pain. As for me, watching Mike struggle physically is harder than I ever imagined. I want to fix it, to make him feel better and I can't. This is a faith/trust walk of a new magnitude. (Stay alert and pray, for the spirit is willing but the body is weak)
Last night we were talking about how we miss us. We miss our life before cancer. We know that this isn't going to last forever, and this is just a season in our lives, but we still miss our life before March 11. It's an understatement to say that God has blessed us since the cancer. He has, in ways that we could only have imagined. God has shown us love, support and an undeniable peace and surety of HIS presence in our lives and marriage. We wouldn't anyone to have to go through this, but we are reaping benefits and blessings through the cancer. (How crazy is that, with cancer came blessings!)
"It's all good" is a big sign that we hung in our family room the day the cancer was diagnosed.
We placed it where we would always see it. We believe that when we are following the Lord it is all good, it doesn't all feel good, but it is all good. His plan is perfect for us, and this is His plan for us right now. " For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and hope." Jeremiah 29:11. Will we yield to HIM, accept life as it is, and praise Him still? Yes, today we will.
The song in my head this morning was:"God is bigger than the boogie man, He bigger than godzilla or the monsters on t.v., God is bigger than the boogie man, and He's watching out for you and me!"
It's a Veggie Tales song. Love it!
4 comments:
Aloha M&S
I am at a loss for words. I was reading in Proverbs earlier (17:27 NLT) "A truly wise person uses words" ok that sounds like me! However upon further reading, the next verse is far more accurate. I am keeping you guys in my prayers w/o ceasing! And I may even drink a BOOST in your honor.
Aloha!!!
It was great to see both of you last night for worship! Mike, we continue to lift you up and as we sang, "You Never Let Go", I couldn't help but think of God's grace for you and for all of our lives! Blessings to you!
Hi Mike,
Yesterday we went to Hayden Pishney's 1st birthday party. About 40 of his family and friends from infants to grandparents gathered at a beautiful park on a beautiful day to celebrate his first year of life. As you might guess, he was pretty oblivious.
Sometime later, his dad asked us to come together, and little Hayden knew something was up. He stared wide-eyed as we stood in a semi-circle around him and sang Happy Birthday. Then all eyes fixed on Hayden in his high chair, he ate his cupcake. On his first birthday, Hayden was about to taste processed sugar for the very first time.
Dad videotaped and cameras flashed as Hayden literally inhaled. Had his mom not quickly moved in and snatched it from his grasp, Hayden would have gobbled down the paper wrapper as he relished every last crumb.
It brought tears to my eyes watching the surprised delight on his little face. How precious the "firsts" are to us! What lengths we go to in life to recreate the "firsts".
Watching Hayden, I experienced the same feeling I had at your wedding, watching you kiss Susan for the very first time. Witnessing a "first" releases a flood of emotion one hardly knows what to do with. There is a great temptation to "push it down", to tell ourselves it is not that big a deal. But it is.
Later, I read your blog from yesterday, and there you are writing about each new day, some good ones and some bad ones, but each one pregnant with the expectation of yet another "first". And, despite the fire in your throat, you dare to dream of the possibility of being the "first" to go through this radical cancer treatment without narcotics.
Wouldn't that be just like our God? Only the God of "firsts" could think that up - a recovering drug addict does pain, extreme pain....sober.
So I am cheering for you Mike Leonard. I am praying God will allow you to see and experience a "first" every single day. And if He has a way for you to do it without meds, we will boast even more in the Lord our God. But, if meds are needed, I pray God will never allow you to experience them as a "first" again. There are no "firsts" like His. Only His firsts have the power to restore us physically, emotionally and spiritually. That is our blessed HOPE. And that should give you a real BOOST!
Cheers,
Suzi
As I read what you wrote today about how much you miss "you" before cancer...I remember what you were saying last weekend about missing your "husband" and while I can only imagine what you are going through...I have to tell you that I am falling in love with your "LOVE STORY". Daily I log on to read the latest chapter of an incredible love story. The love you two have is a gift...Thank you for sharing it with me/us.
It was great to see you two last night. Mike you are a trooper!!! I loved your little "come gimme a hug" hand signal. I feel like I'm going to hurt you if I squeeze too hard...I don't know why because you are the strongest person I've seen in a very long time!
Jeremiah 29:11 is my very favorite verse, because when I got out of SRC and started going to CR...I jumped right into a step study WHOA that popped my pink cloud really quick. Not because the steps aren't awesome...THEY ARE...but because of all that digging I felt like I was reliving all the junk from my past. I felt guilt and shame and hopless all over again. Lonnie told me to look up Jeremiah 29:11 and I recite that verse several times a week (and have for about two years now). It is reassuring during the times of uncertainty...GOD HAS A PLAN!!! PRAISE HIM!!!
I love you guys
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