Missing

Yesterday i made the flight home, leaving Paul, Lauren, and Caleb and returning to the love of my life, Mike. Days like this are bittersweet. I am so happy to be with my husband, and yet to leave my children behind on the other side of the country is sad. It's amazing how I can be in Virginia in the morning and back at work at 3pm in the afternoon in Modesto. I feel extremely blessed and fortunate that I have those options, and that I have been able to connect twice already in Caleb's 10 weeks of life.
I have always found the saying goodbye thing awkward. First because I don't want to say goodbye, secondly because I want to burst into tears, third because I want to throw myself into the arms of my kids and hang on, and the lastly there is that moment after I hug them good bye too long, and saying I love you too many times, then finally walking away from the drop off curb at the airport as they drive away. Just writing this tears begin to well up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. It's such a hard awkward moment for me. And yet since my three have grown up and moved to other areas of the country and state, it's a scene that I know all too well and have to replay several times a year. Paul and Lauren I love you and miss you this morning! Kiss Caleb for me!! TEll him how much grandma loves him over and over.
Now with little Caleb being born and living in Virginia, I can see that every couple of months I'll be saying goodbye. I already am looking for a cheap flight for Grandpa and I to both go this time. So with another short trip only two months away, I am looking forward to and yet savoring the last 5 days all at the same time. I have looked at my pictures so many times, and am going to torture anyone that will look at them, encouraging them to affirm that he is the cutest baby ever!! What a wonderful day of travel and technology that we live in to keep the distance doable.