I thought it couldn't get any worse and then it did. Each morning I would wake up and think that I would feel better, and then I wouldn't. In fact I was feeling worse. But today, the effects of the chemo( feeling so sick I wish I could die) are beginning to fade. My friend Mike Rogers told me when this whole thing started to remember, when you feel like you can't go on that it is not the cancer that is making you feel like that, but the treatment. Mike knows because he himself went through the same treatment 8 years ago. At the time, I took encouragement from his words, but today remember them vividly and hang on to the truth of them because in my weakened state my mind can wander and my thinking get so easily distorted.
The truth is we don't know what the cancer is doing, and it doesn't much matter. I can't control it and worry doesn't do a thing but suck the life out of me. I am in today only. And today I am feeling a bit stronger, the vomiting is over. I am beginning to recover from the treatment they beat me up with. I am beat up but not crushed. My spirits are better, in fact they are always better in the morning. It's later in the day that I get in trouble or when I pass by a mirror and wonder "who is that?"......
Thank you for your comments. It's funny how each email or blog post, no matter how big or small encourages me. I know that I have a long way to go, but for today I am grateful and encouraged.
Hold Fast, Mike
12 comments:
Good Morning Mike & Susan,
This morning I came across I Cor. 10:13..."No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." And, the one I've laminated and read daily is II Tim. 1:7..."For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but
A Spirit
of Power
of Love
And
of Self-Discipline!"
I know you're being being taught these things in the most trying of ways. Our prayers are with you!! Your courage and strength, even when you don't feel it, are being seen by one and all.
Oh, Dear Lord, let our prayers for miracalous healing being answered soon that Your power may be seen and believed through Mike & Susan's trials..In the name of Jesus, Amen and Amen.
In His Love...Les & Pam (O'Dea) Encinas
Hi you two, after walking with Debbie I came right in and loked to read your blog. As I was praying for God to give me something for you I went to the web site where I do my contemplative reading (www.gnpcb.org/esv/devotion)and the second reading was Psa 91 verse 14 in ESV says Because he hods fast to me in love, I will deliver him; This must be for you Mike, in fact I claim it for you. Love you guys. I hope you will be able to make it to church this weekend. Susan do you believe it? Scott is in the pulpit speaking on RECOVER. Praise Almighty God.
ANN
Good morning Mike,
We are so thankful that today, you are feeling stronger. What a hard process this is.
I couldn't remember what Psalm you said to read the othe day, but I knew it had an 8 in it, I thought it was Psalm 88, so I read it this morning, Oh, I'm so glad that it was 18 instead of 88. I know you (we all) can feel like 88 at times, but we must live in the promise of 18.
As Bob and I pray for you daily, we know that God is faithful and will redeem you out of "the pit" and His glory will come forth as the noonday sun.
We love you and we appreciate your candidness and honesty.
Love,
B & B
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you,
He rises to show you compassion."
Isaiah 30:18
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love!
Lamentations 3:33
much love, timmy k
Mike and Family,
I like that your being so honest about your feelings. I am praying for you. Have you ever heard of the book and DVD "The Secret" I suggest that it would be good for you to watch.It's very up lifting.Stay with it Mike and Family you are a example for Gods Glory. And he is right there with you all much love to you.
From your Sister in Christ Jacqueline The camera Lady
rpmsgbki
Mike and Family,
I like that your being so honest about your feelings. I am praying for you. Have you ever heard of the book and DVD "The Secret" I suggest that it would be good for you to watch.It's very up lifting.Stay with it Mike and Family you are a example for Gods Glory. And he is right there with you all much love to you.
From your Sister in Christ Jacqueline The camera Lady
The Lauer family is still praying for you.
Glad you are feeling a bit better.
Maisha
Dear Mike,
Just read your Friday blog. Funny thing - not the HaHa kind...But just last night I was tired and looked at my Bible, which hasn't been touched in a few days and I thought about picking it up...But I was tired and thought tomorrw I have time, I'll do it tomorrow. But something inside me said, "No, all you have is now, today." So, I picked up my Bible and read! I will live for today. God has plans for tomorrow.
Thanks for sharing.
Praying for you to feel better today.
Keeping the Faith,
Susan Haynes
Maui
You have a spirit of truth. Thanks for sharing. We continue to pray.
Love,
Gerry & Terry Johnson
Still praying for you guys. Bow ta yuzz. Glad your feeling the turn. Michele and Adam head back next Friday. Where did the year go? Vacations are just never long enough. I have to stay for a while to finish up hopefully I'll be back soon.
Love yuzz,
Lodes
I hope today is an even better day. I hope you are feeling well enough to go to church. The band has an awesome set list...and I can't wait to hear Pastor Scott and Suzi. It is wonderful that we belong to a church where recovery is so encouraged.
Just wanted to say Hi and tell you thank you so much for your honesty and heartfelt emotions. I was beginning to wonder if you were human...
Love you guys,
Debbie
Thanks for your honesty-- it's refreshing. It felt very much like the Psalmist before the Lord sharing the raw, real nature of his heart. I'm praying for you man. You are such a testimony for the kingdom right now!
Hang in there... and sorry about your throat gunk! ugh!
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