Mike Leonard

2009-10-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

Grandpa giving soccer tips to Katie and Addison 11 months!

It's our anniversary!

2009-10-12T20:11:00.000-07:00

We celebrate every anniversary the same way.. this is number 7!!...I put on my dress, we set the camera to take a picture, then we watch our wedding DVD, put on the wedding CD's that Sam and Paul made us, dance to the same song that we danced our first dance too, and then have a quiet dinner together.....It's a sweet and special tradition!

This morning when I woke up I followed a trail of pennies and arrived at a sign of "i love you" made out of pennies, all of it led to a box with a bow that had a copper bracelet in it....you see this year is #7 and copper....Mike is so creative!!

worship

2009-10-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

Spending time in God's word and soaking in the beauty of His creation...Resting, relaxing,and being filled through the power of the WORD all while we are basking in the maui sun! Life doesn't get much better than this!

we're in maui

2009-10-03T16:41:00.000-07:00

AHHHHHH this feels good.....

The fun continues!

2009-08-07T19:43:00.000-07:00

we're are winding down

2009-08-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

Only Sam and Jenna remain from our family fun of the last 10 days.....Sarah thought that we should do a brady bunch picture...and of course a new picture of the whole family, and then grandma and grandpa with the babies...

Caleb is here!

2009-07-31T14:56:00.001-07:00

Our brilliant grandchildren!

2009-07-04T16:29:00.000-07:00

Addison at 7 months.....
Caleb mimicking his daddy...4 months

family

2009-06-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

ON Father's day we combined Mariah's family and ours. What a joy it is to be able to all share in the joy of our family together.
We had a great time and got a few great pictures too! WE even got all connected via Skype with Paul, Lauren, and Caleb!

Father's Day

2009-06-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest earthly gifts GOD has given me was the gift of my husband Mike. Today on Father's Day, even though he is not my dad, and not the father of my children, he has jumped in and given my three children the same love and devotion as if he had given life to them. I am celebrating him and who he is. He is the dad I always wished for my children. I am celebrating who God has made him to be and the love that GOD spreads on us through Mike. Mike is loving, kind, oh so funny, the smartest man I know, witty, compassionate, discerning, full of knowledge and wisdom, handsome, honest, open, can say when he's wrong, and maybe a little stubborn at times. He loves the Lord with his whole heart, seeks HIS face and will daily, and LOVES ME EXTRAVAGANTLY! I adore this man and have the honor of spending the rest of my life with him, enjoying all 8 of our kids and growing family of future spouses and grandchildren.

SKYPE

2009-06-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

WE Skyped today with Paul, Lauren, and Caleb. IT was an incredible experience to see their faces so close. Caleb kept leaning into the screen and getting really close. I too found myself wanting to get as close as I could to the screen to be closer to all of them. I guess that qualifies me as a "close talker". You know one of those people that gets really close to you when you are talking. I found that I wanted to kiss the screen and feel those little chubby cheeks against my lips...
Anyway, we are both excited that Paul, Lauren, and Caleb are right there in our computer. It really was nice to see them while we are talking to them. The next best thing to being there in person.
If you aren't SKYPING yet...you are missing out! It's wonderful!
WE love you Paul, Lauren and Caleb!

PRICELESS

2009-06-14T17:49:00.001-07:00

WE're home after a fast 36 hour visit with Paul, Lauren, and Caleb...PRICELESS!!!

For Great Grandma a video

2009-06-13T12:45:00.000-07:00

we're in Heaven!

2009-06-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

We made it!

2009-06-12T15:08:00.001-07:00

We're here and it was worth all the hassle....being with Caleb, Paul, and Lauren is wonderful!

this face

2009-06-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

This is the face of love that waits us getting to Virginia. We are currently in Philadelphia at a Quality Inn, waiting for the time to pass to take the shuttle to back to the airport, and catch our new flight at 2pm. Last night because of flight delays we missed our connecting flight, found a hotel room, ate cheez it's for dinner at 12:30am with a bottle of water, and a half of peanut butter sandwich( so thankful we packed it before we left). We are looking forward to this face of love.
Love is the answer to all things, Love conquers all...even an unexpected layover!

2009-05-30T06:09:00.000-07:00

Colin 5 years

Katie 10 years

Addison 6 months

Caleb 4 months

It's official we are proud crazy about our grand children grand parents. I am over flowing with love. Yesterday Mike and I were talking about the personalities of each and how we can encourage them, in the way they were made, emphasizing their strengths, gifts and talents, and minimizing the weaknesses. I really believe that we all grow when we are encouraged in our strengths rather than criticized.
Colin, loves to look in the mirror at himself, and loves being the center of attention. Katie is thoughtful and more reserved, wanting to discuss ideas and understand the why's of life. It's too soon to tell about Addison and Caleb, but each of them is going to have a unique and special personality we savor, and enjoy.

Is that the guy from BAYWATCH?

2009-05-25T05:57:00.000-07:00

Addison's first day in the pool...she loved it! and we have a handsome lifeguard!

Doing the right thing?

2009-05-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

I have been pretty quiet for a while now. Usually Susan writes and I just procrastinate. Not today.

Luke 6:31 is the verse I am stuck on or maybe God wants it to stick on me. In the NIV it says, "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

I had a friend named Donald. Years ago Donald drove a small delivery truck for work. One day while he doing his route and this guy in the car behind is honking his horn and signaling for Donald to pull over. Not knowing what was happening Donald pulled his truck over and the guy walked up to the cab of Donald's truck. Donald rolled his window down to see what the guy wanted, When he did, the guy punched him in the face, knocking Donald senseless. The guy got back in his car and drove away.

So i am driving down the road this last Thursday. In the lane to my right is a motorhome/RV. All of a sudden a RV starts pulling into my lane so I honk my horn but it keeps on coming over. So I have to slam on my brakes and turn into the middle turn lane to avoid a collision. Am I happy? Not one little bit. I had this moment where I wanted to get even with this guy. Doesn't he know who I am and how he just mistreated me? If I go there in my mind I forget the fact that THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME!!

So am I some spiritual giant that remembers immediately those words of Jesus in Luke 6:31? That's a rhetorical question! Heck no, but what I am doing is practicing doing the right thing. During the course of my day I make choices, some are right and some are wrong. How do I know the difference? It's funny but a lot of the time the right choice is not necessarily the easy choice. Sometimes those choices are contrary to the way I want to behave or to my best interest. Sometimes I have to get out of myself and do the thing that is beneficial to the other person. Sometimes I have to tell the truth, even when it comes with the risk of rejection or anger.

Have you ever kept silent when something was wrong and then kicked yourself later for your silence? I hate the feeling of having missed the opportunity to say or do something you know you should, but you won't move. You won't take a chance. You play it safe and it turns out that you missed a great opportunity to let God work. Having said all that, if i ask God's help to see how to apply Luke 6:31 to our situation before we act or speak, we are much more likely to be perceived as caring and not a self seeker.

But not always and that's okay! Easy does it . . .But do it!

Hold fast

Mike

Mothers' Day

2009-05-10T14:44:00.001-07:00

You can only guess what was happening with Mike and my mom? We are celebrating my mom today!
We love you mom,
Mike and Susan

2009-05-08T11:03:00.001-07:00

This morning I was out in the garden sprucing things up, by the way the garden is my happy place, I was remembering the goodness of God in our lives. Last year at this time every weekend we would be home from Stanford for a couple of days. Mike would be in the house wanting to throw up because of chemo and radiation treatments, and I would be outside early every morning working amongst the flowers talking to God, and the neighbors as they would stop by to check on Mike's progress. At the time they couldn't believe that I was keeping up the garden, but it brought me great peace to be out there and a serenity that I can't put into words. Now to be out there working in the yard, not only brings serenity, peace and a experience with God, but a deep sense of gratitude as I remember not only HIS faithfulness to us, but the way HE used friends to show us HIS love. All of our flowers are evidence of that time. Each one was brought and bought by friends that loved us. And now as they bloom and get bigger so is our experience of HIS love for us, not only from God directly but through the hands of all those that love us.

What some of you don't know is that our yard was torn up when Mike was diagnosed and we had to stop spending the money we had saved for the yards, to save for unmet medical costs. Friends saw this need as they came each week to visit, and a ground pf friends all pitched in their money, time and talents to put buy plants, put in sprinklers and give us a yard we could relax in when we were home for the weekends. Then our kids showed up from Virginia, Maui, and Nevada City, to continue the work and help us get more flowers and roses planted the way they knew their mom, that being me, liked things. They did the finishing touches.
This year all the plants, even the annuals that are supposed to die off, still live on and the yard is lush and beautiful as GOD it seems continues to bless it. I firmly believe that the hands that planted, shoveled dirt, dug trenches, built retaining walls, and put in irrigation were the hands of God.

I am very grateful for my every remembrance of you! and for the love of the LORD!
Hold Fast, the Lord is going to bless you.,,,,

2009-05-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

we're getting excited for summer. The pool is sparkling and calling to me to jump in...but still it's too cold. All the flowers are blooming and my tropical plants are beginning to come up. It feels like Maui to me in our backyard, and I can hardly wait until the black bamboo that we just got is in it's new pots.
Little Caleb is already getting a jump on summer!

2009-05-01T17:28:00.000-07:00

Check out Addison Grace is Here on the family blog....she's a whopping 6 months on May 8th!!

All is clear!

2009-04-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

The killer is staying in the closet! We got an all clear from the PET scan today and are celebrating, resting in how grateful we feel that we don't have to deal with cancer for now. God is always faithful, and for today we are thankful that cancer is not what we have to deal with. We have graduated to every 8 weeks seeing the doctor now instead of every 6 weeks. That's improvement and it is indeed all good today!

Killer in the hall closet

2009-04-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

We're here again at Stanford and Mike is in for another PET scan. It's been an emotional week for us. Three men that we have prayed for and shared the experience of cancer this past year have all died this week. One of them meant a great deal to us and yet all three of them touched our lives in heartfelt way. All have gone home to be with the Lord, and all left a legacy of faith and families behind to mourn their loss. It's been hard, and now here we sit again to find out if there is any sign of returning or spread of the original cancer. I wouldn't say that we are worried, but it is hard not to think about it. Being here back at Stanford always brings lots of memories and in the wake of these men of God dying this week, many emotions.

I find that about the week before every big test or visit, we feel the presence of the" What if? ". I liken it to having a killer living in the hall closet. He's locked in and you can't see him. He's quiet for the most part, and as you go up and down the hall, you are aware that he's there, and on a daily basis don't give him any real thought. However as scans and doctors visit's come close, the killer begins knocking, (quietly at first) and even though you don't believe that he is going to get out, you are ever so aware of the presence. The knocking gets louder as the day approaches, and when we are finally here, we wait to hear if the killer will stay locked up or has he been let out. We'll know about 2pm today.

We know that God is on the throne and we are securely in HIS hands. Thank you for all who are praying, and have been loving and supporting us through this. We are HOLDING FAST believing that God is going to continue to bless us as He continually has through the whole cancer experience.

back at the beach

2009-04-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

Flower of Hope

2009-04-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

It was a year ago, this past March that Mike and left the doctors office and went to Scenic nursery. We had just heard that he most likely had cancer we were being referred to Stanford. I remember the conversation well. We were in shock but optimistic that God would see us through. I at that point had been researching and knew in my heart that he had stage 4 cancer. I could see and interpret all the signs and his symptoms. He didn't want to talk about it, and I wanted to talk about it...so we compromised and went to Scenic nursery to cheer ourselves up. We both love plants and at the time were in the process of doing our yard. When we first walked in there was this beautiful Chinese Peony with one gorgeous flower on it about 5 inches across. I told Mike I wanted to get it as our flower of hope. We could plant it in our yard to remind us of this day and the faithfulness of God. We both absolutely believed that God was faithful to us, no matter what the outcome, and we bought the 50.00 flower! ( it is quite extravagant for us to spend this)
We planted the flower a year ago, the flower faded and fell off...Mike underwent the cancer treatment and he too faded, feeling weak and lousy for the rest of the year. Much to our dismay in the fall our flower lost all it's leaves, the ants attacked it, and there in the corner of the yard it looked dead. I put it in a pot, brought it close to the house and tended it. This pitiful little stalk with nothing on it. That was about December and it too was about then that Mike started to get enough energy to begin exercising again. Both Mike and our little plant started to show buds of getting better come January and February. Now it's April and our little Flower of Hope one year later has three beautiful flowers on it, they each are 5 inches across. They say that you only get one new flower for each year of the plants life, but we got two more this year instead of one! Mike too is doing remarkably better. This month we have another PET scan to check for cancer, but we are not afraid. Our little flower of hope is a reminder of the faithfulness of God, when I look at the flowers, I see the goodness of our GOD, and that HE is with us. Just like our wedding rings are three strands together to symbolize Mike, me, and God, so our three flowers remind me that GOD is with us.
Hold Fast, help is on the way, Hold Fast HE's come to save the day. One thing I have learned in my life, one thing greater than my strife is YOUR grasp, Hold Fast, Hold Fast.
God never let us go and our little flower of Hope is a reminder of that...HOLD FAST!

Missing

2009-04-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i made the flight home, leaving Paul, Lauren, and Caleb and returning to the love of my life, Mike. Days like this are bittersweet. I am so happy to be with my husband, and yet to leave my children behind on the other side of the country is sad. It's amazing how I can be in Virginia in the morning and back at work at 3pm in the afternoon in Modesto. I feel extremely blessed and fortunate that I have those options, and that I have been able to connect twice already in Caleb's 10 weeks of life.
I have always found the saying goodbye thing awkward. First because I don't want to say goodbye, secondly because I want to burst into tears, third because I want to throw myself into the arms of my kids and hang on, and the lastly there is that moment after I hug them good bye too long, and saying I love you too many times, then finally walking away from the drop off curb at the airport as they drive away. Just writing this tears begin to well up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. It's such a hard awkward moment for me. And yet since my three have grown up and moved to other areas of the country and state, it's a scene that I know all too well and have to replay several times a year. Paul and Lauren I love you and miss you this morning! Kiss Caleb for me!! TEll him how much grandma loves him over and over.
Now with little Caleb being born and living in Virginia, I can see that every couple of months I'll be saying goodbye. I already am looking for a cheap flight for Grandpa and I to both go this time. So with another short trip only two months away, I am looking forward to and yet savoring the last 5 days all at the same time. I have looked at my pictures so many times, and am going to torture anyone that will look at them, encouraging them to affirm that he is the cutest baby ever!! What a wonderful day of travel and technology that we live in to keep the distance doable.

don't leave me

2009-04-07T13:42:00.001-07:00

He keeps jumping in my suitcase begging me not to leave!!!
I wish I didn't have too....how do I leave this face?

2009-04-07T04:32:00.000-07:00

Pasta, friends, babies, and talk of discipline. There isn't a whole lot necessary when you are dealing with little ones under 2. Yet I was impressed with the young parents we had dinner with last night. They were teaching their little girl to listen and obey. Kindly and yet with a quiet sense of authority they carried through as she voiced her objections with tears as any child would. Her loving parents helped her learn that they meant what they said with kind calm words and follow through. They are setting an important foundation in her life. She is going to be a wonderful independent thinker that respects her parents and their authority. she may not alway like it, but she will respect it and follow it.
I remember when my children were that age and now I am seeing my grand children and watching my children raise them. All over again I am thinking about discipline only from a different vantage point. One of being older and hopefully wiser, but my views haven't changed hardly at all.
With my kids I thought a lot about how to redirect my children and teach them, mostly because I didn't spank and still don't think that spanking is necessary, and wanted respectful children that obeyed and followed my direction. And they did, complaining along the way but still carrying through amongst much discussion. Discipline can be a real challenge. Back when I raised my kids, so many people spanked and thought that was the only way, and I learned long ago not to bring the subject up. I personally think it is never necessary to hit a smaller person to get your point across, And yes I did resort to a swat once or twice on a padded bottom, but it didn't accomplish much, except me feeling lousy, so i was determined early on to learn and find another way. I did, and it worked with my three to raise them without being spanked.
It used to be said that you don't talk about religion, politics, money, and I am going to add to the list spanking. I can talk about the other three with no problem. However spanking is one of those topics that I am passionate about, and I do get why others think it's ok, but for me I couldn't and didn't want to do it with my kids. When I look at my little grandson sleeping up in his crib, it brings up a whole new wave of emotion on the subject. Paul and Lauren are thoughtful wonderful parents with a calm and soothing style of relating to each other and others. They are both natural teachers with a deep love and appreciation for children, it's going to be fun to watch them guide and teach their own.
Time to run, Caleb just woke up and is calling me...love is calling from his crib!

A walk in the park

2009-04-06T04:37:00.000-07:00

A trip and a walk around the Botanical gardens. Yes I am having the best time. Today Caleb and I are having a bonding day while mommy and daddy are at work. It just began to rain and Caleb is happily sleeping. I can see a bunch of new pictures are going to be happening! I really enjoy rainy days once and a while, it makes me want to bake, clean, do those put off projects, and snuggle up. I find them to be very satisfying days and with Caleb it is going to make this rainy day extra special.

I promised pictures

2009-04-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

I'm here and am ready with my camera. I am in heaven being here with Paul. Lauren, and Caleb...

Airports

2009-04-03T12:57:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in San Jose airport waiting to board my flight to Vegas, and then on to Norfolk Virginia. Winds have shifted and we are now delayed 40 minutes. No big deal, it just reduces my wait in Vegas, but according to reports, Vegas has closed all but one runway because of the wind. I can see a long day ahead of me. It's a good thing that it is fun to watch people. Next to me is someone eating chips...crunch, crunch, crunch...and on other side of me a guy that is talking to his lawyer about his anger at his soon to be ex wife. Then there is the couple that is on business, not married, talking about their spouses all while flirting with each other. It's pretty entertaining and an all around good time.
I never tire of listening and watching people. Sometimes I make up stories in my head about what people are up to as I watch. I make up these big stories in my head.
Even though I am waiting and may be here a long time....I am having fun...

2009-04-02T19:50:00.000-07:00

It's the change of the guards....my mom (great grandma) just arrived home yesterday from being with Caleb, and I go tomorrow. Get ready for a bunch of pictures to be posted in the next few days. I am getting so excited to go that I hope that I can sleep tonight!

2009-03-30T14:33:00.000-07:00

She has quite the sense of humor

BE STILL

2009-03-28T06:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was out at my friend Vicki's home and they have butterflies everywhere. I was trying to catch a picture of one of them, and yet because I don't have a fancy camera, I needed to be close in order to get a shot. They don't stay still for long, and if I moved at all "poof" they were gone.So there I was standing in the middle of the bush. They were all around me, flying above my head, landing to the right of me and the left. Whichever way I turned they flew away. After several attempts it hit me....I needed to be totally still and focus my camera on an area and wait. Just stand there waiting.... expectantly waiting and I was silently asking or rather pleading with God for a butterfly to land. So I waited, and waited, and they seemed to be landing everywhere all around me except where I was focused. Just as I my arm was getting tired,and I was getting ready to give up, it happened....he landed and posed as if I knew I was there.
I just have to wonder how much of life and the little things I miss because I am not willing to wait and be still, or I give up before the blessing comes. "Be still and know that I am God" the scripture says. I want to be better at being still...but first we have to do some chores around the house! (I'm kidding, and yet this is how life is) Maybe I can be still and Mike can do all the chores?!!

PARTY

2009-03-27T06:40:00.001-07:00

Every other week on Thursday night we have a party at our home. Well it's not really a party, but sure does feel like one. Last night we had 27 happy people of all ages sharing food, laughter, stories, and passing around little children. Some are married, some single, some have children, some don't. We all bring food to share, and miraculously this big food spread appears. There is no big planning, just an email that goes out before hand, and everyone emails back about what they are going to bring and a party is born! When 6pm rolls around every other Thursday night, the house fills up, cars wrap and line up around the corner and the fun begins!
We call this Ohana, which means extended family. A term we adopted when we were in Maui.
Last night after dinner while the kids played happily outside in a game of tag and decorating our sidewalks with chalk, we sat around in the family room in a big circle sharing about our families of origin and why we are coming together. It was transparent, safe, and accepting. Each person sharing their heart as everyone else listened. We laughed a lot too!
In Acts 2:42-47( one of my favorite scriptures) it talks about coming together, sharing what we have, eating,doing life, and growing as a family in the love and knowledge of the Lord. What a neat picture this is and we believe that it can be alive today. In a world where we are all so busy it is easy to become isolated and consumed with our own needs and wants. In these times of financial uncertainty fear can creep in and draw us inward instead of reaching out as a community and coming together. We love to share and bring people together, making new friends and family in the process.
We both love these nights! We are filled up with love and a sense of connectedness to our community in Modesto, and feel blessed that the Lord brought us here to this new extended family that seems to be growing each time we meet.
Last night was a great night!

2009-03-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

It's supposed to be good and right when our children move away. And yet when they do, it's sad and you want them near. I always wanted my kids to feel free to go and be anything that they wanted to be. To feel that they could go anywhere the Lord led them and not look back worrying about me or how I would feel without them. And they have done just that. They are happily exploring their lives and contributing to the world around them. I am so proud of them all. Paul and Lauren are in Virginia, Hope is in Grass Valley, and Sam is in Chicago. I just want to say that as I look at this little picture of Caleb living so far away, I am rethinking that maybe I should have used good old fashion guilt to keep my kids near. What was I thinking when I encouraged them to fly and explore?
I'm kidding, I wouldn't change it. I love watching them do their life and feel confident without me. It's healthy, and it's good...that's what moms are supposed to do...let their kids grow up and have their own lives.
For the record.....Paul, Lauren, Hope and Sam I really wish you lived closer!

weekends are for grandchildren

2009-03-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

A game of memory with grandpa...

Katie and Colin on the backyard grass

Little Addison at 4 months taken last night. The video is 2 minutes long of nothing but pure cuteness!

11 more days until I see Caleb. It's really hard being away from our 4th and youngest grand baby. In two weeks, I'll have Caleb videos for you. I know....you can't wait!

Have it your way

2009-03-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

Most every morning Mike and I have a breakfast of a fruit protein shake. Sometimes he makes it and sometimes I make it. I like mine icy, really frozen and thick. Mike likes his frothy, light, creamy and airy. We put exactly the same thing in it, and yet his are light and airy and mine are freezing cold and stiff. I like the way I do it and he likes the way he does it. Depending on the morning and who makes it, is whether or not the shake is yummy good to either one of us.
We both appreciate the efforts of the other, and neither of us every complains. They taste good regardless.
However this morning we were making it together. Mike fresh squeezed the orange juice( he does this every morning), and one by one with Mike at the blender we added each ingredient. And then I saw it! He kept blending away, long after I would have stopped. Help my frozen shake was being fluffed and frothed until it was like whipped cream.
WE laughed and teased each other about how the other makes it wrong and agreed that from the same blender we can both have it our way. I'll blend longer for him, and he will less for me. Honestly before this morning we didn't think to ask or make any adjustments, it's was all about how we individually liked it. It's odd how selfish we can be and stuck in our own little world of likes and dislikes that we forget to ask the other what they would like or how they would like it. It's the little things that I think we just do without thinking. Thinking that they are not very important.....but lots of little selfish things add up to just plain being selfish.
If I can't be unselfish in the little things, I most certainly will not be unselfish in the big things..
That's it..have a great day!

2009-03-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

Forgive the sideways glance at Hoku. I can't figure out how to flip this video of her, so you'll have to flip your computer.
For those of you that don't know her, Hoku is my cousin, lives in Maui, and is one of the main reasons that we went to Maui in the first place. Loving her and spending time with her each week has changed me and my life. Hoku lived on another part of the island and twice a week we would go hang out with her and her house mates. She lives in total care facility with 4 other residents.
Hoku can't talk or take care of any of her personal needs, but she loves to play the keyboard. She loves taking drives in the car, and being outside. She loves guitar and music. Saturday is our day to call her and let her know that we love her and will be there soon to visit. They hold the phone up to her while we talk and she always smiles and makes sounds letting us know that she hears us. To know her is to love her. She is sweet, almost always happy and knows a delightful peace and contentment. WE really miss her! It's one of the hardest things about being back on the mainland, being away from her.

2009-03-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

WE love being outside and are excited that spring is here! I wonder why Mike is so tired tonight?

wet bed

2009-03-19T04:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had night sweats? I haven't, but Mike does, and waking up and scooting into a soaking sheet that I didn't expect...YUK! I woke Mike up to announce that he was dripping wet and we found ourselves laughing and joking that maybe he had just peed the bed. Too many covers? no.. Too hot in the house? no....just waking up in soaking wet. It feels similar to waking up next to a small child that has wet the bed with me in it! It's happened more than once, but I thought that once I was this age the only wet sheets I would be in would be my own when I have hot flashes!
My only complaint was that he was in the middle of the bed and I too had to feel the wet clammy sheets and we were too tired to get up and change them.. That was our night..how did you sleep?

creation calls out to Him

2009-03-16T17:25:00.000-07:00

We were driving home from Stanford for the every 6 week visit this afternoon when we spotted these poppies. I was out of the car and laying down before we knew it taking pictures. The hills were varying shades of vibrant green with the bluest sky overhead! Poppies were lifting to the sky as if they were singing! It was beautiful, and we were happily enjoying a great drive home through the San Jose hills after hearing that Mike has another all clear for another 6 weeks when we go back to Stanford for a PET scan (body scan). Life is good and we are very grateful for another good report.

I love Modesto

2009-03-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

Spring seems to have made it to Modesto! Addison is barely 4 months old and almost sitting up..or is it her tummy holding her up? I am falling in love with Modesto...our life is good here, full of family and friends. When we first moved back from Maui it was a hard adjustment, but with ever passing day I am more grateful for being here. Days like today with a house full of our kids, grandkids, tummies full of blueberry pancakes, bacon and eggs, and working in the yard....perfect!

2009-03-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

It's hard to describe the love I have for this little guy. I could gaze on his pictures and videos and be totally satisfied. How many times in one day can you look at a picture? I have lost count. It's true that being a grandparent is wonderful. Why anyone is not ready for it I can't understand. I even love the name grandma. I don't feel old enough in my head to be a grandma, but when I hear a little voice calling me grandma it warms me up.
Caleb is 6 weeks now and I am counting the days until I get on the plane at the end of the month and can kiss his little cheeks. 21 days and counting.

self portrait

2009-03-07T07:20:00.001-08:00

My good friend Phil who is an amazing artist in Maui, has been making some suggestions that I should draw and practice drawing my subjects before I paint them. To work at getting it perfect in pencil, the shading and subtle nuances. This way I will fully know them before I begin to paint and the detail will come alive and with more depth. Since I have just begun and don't have any bad habits yet, I am excited to get advise from someone who is so accomplished and that I love dearly. I figured since I am looking at myself all the time, I would try drawing myself first. I should have done this years ago before all the wrinkles! Mike is next. This is my first serious attempt in my new drawing book.
Aloha Phil!

2009-03-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

I had the best time this morning playing and taking pictures in the almond orchards! So beautiful, I could get lost for hours........

name change

2009-03-01T13:04:00.000-08:00

it's time to change to name of this blog....when Sam and I were at Stanford and were setting this up we thought that the name Mikeleonardhascancer was so clear and it made us both laugh at the time. Now I don't like it. It's weird, I don't think of the cancer very often, and yet every time I post something new I do remember somewhere in the back of my mind why we set it up in the first place. So it's time to change this and update the look, making it fresh and new. It served it's purpose....Mike and I are off for a drive and maybe then we will come up with something that suits us both.
A couple of weeks ago we took a drive out in the country and I fell in love with the outskirts of Modesto. It was beautiful...so many shades of green under a cloudy sky. We're off again to see what we can see with our camera in tow and eyes wide open!

Any suggestions on a new blog name? I had been toying with the idea of splitting off and having my own blog, but honestly I have spent so many years on my own, and now have Mike to share my life with, that I am quite content with ours together.

2009-02-24T11:21:00.000-08:00

Caleb at 4 weeks!

Addison at 3 1/2 months

These smiles melt me. We could change the world if we all smiled like this from our hearts. When a kid smiles, their whole bodies light up! I hope that your day is full of smiles and laughter, and that you feel lit up from the inside out!
Life is good!

overnight

2009-02-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

It's a sleep over at our house with Katie and Colin! Blueberry pancakes, painting, stories and games....we're pooped! there's a reason we can't have babies at our age..Everyone just went home but we miss them already. It's wonderful to live so close to three of our grandkids,but we wish baby Caleb was near by.
It was fun!

2009-02-15T20:31:00.000-08:00

I love this picture. Mike while working ran across these cows and took this photo. Cows are so peaceful and laid back.

2009-02-10T15:36:00.000-08:00

Caleb at 2 weeks old. I sure do miss him. To love someone so much that is so far away and that I have only been with for two days is amazing. I am so in love with him and think about him all the time. I can't think of when his little face is not dancing inside my head. The last few days have been days of prayer as Paul and Lauren wait to have and then find out the results of a series of tests on Caleb. Last week they noticed a problem with his pupil. This all caused speculation about whether he had a serious syndrome that might involve, his sight, kidneys, and heart. I will spare all the details, but so far there is only possibly a small vision problem with one eye, his kidneys are normal, and we are waiting on the last of the tests. Please pray that the final testing comes out normal as well.

This past weekend we went to visit our daughter Hope for her 26th birthday. It's crazy to think that she is 26. In fact today when I was talking to a friend about how old she was I couldn't remember, because in my mind she is still my little girl though far from it. She is a beautiful young woman that we adore and are so proud of.

a good day

2009-02-09T16:16:00.000-08:00

This morning as i was vacuuming I was looking at the clear tank in the front, that shows all the junk that you pick up out of your carpet and off the floors. I clean the tank out each time that I use it, and I am always amazed at what comes out of my carpet and off the floors. It doesn't look like there is that much dirt, but the tank on the vacuum says differently. I have dirt and according to the tank lots of it! It's like life, clean on the outside and yet the dirt is lurking beneath the surface nonetheless. (I love the word nonetheless, it just rolls off your tongue and sounds good too) I work hard at not letting any dirt build up in my life, and to deal with issues as they arise, however I am always amazed that when I pull out the vacuum, I always find that there is some dirt that comes to the surface that needs some attention.
Life is like that...messy, not always easy, but wonderful all at time. How is it that in the span of the last 11 hours I can have so many emotions and thoughts go through my mind? I rambled around my home, thoroughly enjoying my day while I cleaned in silence, changed the bed, scrubbed toilets, and sometimes talked out loud to God about my wonders and thoughts as I pulled weeds out in the yard and cleaned cob webs off of the house. All made perfect with a long talk catching up with my girlfriend.... It's funny how all those small things and sitting with a cup of tea in a quiet clean home can bring so much satisfaction.
Today was a good day!

2009-02-04T16:49:00.000-08:00

I had the best time for two days with Paul, Lauren and Caleb...he's beautiful and so far, a very easy baby. Mom and dad are naturals, I am so proud of them both, and of course love being a new grandma. I'm so in love!

Daddy's feet are a size 16, it looks like Caleb might be heading in the same direction.

2009-01-31T07:35:00.000-08:00

In these pictures Caleb 4 days old and Addison 2 1/2 months old. I am in awe of the gift of these little ones in our lives.
Tomorrow I head to Virginia to hold Caleb for the first time. I am counting the minutes and praising God that it is possible for me to go. When I look at the world around me, all the pain and suffering, all those out of work and unable to pay the most basic of bills, I am grateful beyond words. So thankful for everything that we have and so aware that we are not any more deserving than anyone else to be so blessed. Our grand children are the cherries on top of what is a wonderful life. This morning our other two grand children Katie and Colin are coming over for blueberry pancakes and bacon!

New grandbaby #4

2009-01-26T10:06:00.000-08:00

Caleb Aidan arrived early this morning 8lbs 11oz 21 inches long! Go ahead and tell us how beautiful he is. Mom, dad, and baby are doing great and we the proud grandparents can't wait to hold him. I am headed off to Virginia this Sunday for a couple of days...

Check-up results

2009-01-22T09:29:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update. I went for my 6-week check-up yesterday and after having the doctor shove popsicle sticks, mirrors and then just about his whole arm down my throat, he gave me the thumbs up. Praise the Lord!

The verse that I have been thinking on today is Proverbs 22:9 - "A generous man will himself be blessed for he shares his food with the poor."

Lord bless your day

Mike

2009-01-19T06:50:00.000-08:00

This morning while reading Luke 22, verse 44 says, "and being in agony, He prayed more earnestly" Do I pray more when I am in agony? I do. I look to the Lord more often when I am at the end of myself. The problem is that usually I do not get to the end of myself very easily. I can be like Peter in verse 5o, who when upset wants to get in there and fix. Peter cut off an ear in an attempt to save the situation. But according to Jesus, prayer will stop us from entering into that temptation, the temptation to get in where we don't belong, or to try to fix or control something or someone else.... When I humble out and take the position of seeking the Lord and His wisdom in prayer, the answer and the peace come. And ultimately the situation is handled by God without my help! I know from personal experience to be true. Prayer works and changes me.
I guess the real question is, Does it take agony before I earnestly pray or humble myself for His wisdom and direction? Is it easier for me to get busy rather than to bow down and seek Him?
I really want a deeper prayer life and a greater self discipline of seeking Him and His wisdom first and in all things( whether in agony or not). To STOP, DROP, and PRAY before I do......

Ohhh, these pictures are of Mike excited to start the day.....I found him leaping and skipping down the hall! and Addison wondering what Grandpa is doing?

A splash of color

2009-01-18T09:46:00.000-08:00

It is hard to sit down to write on the blog these days. There are no great medical updates, no incredible news, just life. I read other blogs and except for a few, most seem to sort of lose steam over time. Unless you have them on a watch list letting you know when there are updates they seem to just fade into oblivion.

Yesterday was an unusual day. I went to an old friend's funeral. Her name was Susan and she was 55 years old. From my perspective that was pretty young. I hadn't seen her in a number of years and there were a lot of people who attended the funeral I hadn't seen in years either. It made me sad that I hadn't talk to her in so long but that is how life goes. She had struggles, maybe more than most. But you know her brother got up and shared his heart about her and her death. He acknowledged that he and she had had some differences but he gave an analogy that blew my mind. He said imagine taking 40 gallons of different colored of paints, opening the cans and splashing them on a wall. When you were done there would be all these mixes of colors and you can picture what that would look like splashed everywhere. Then he said, you can choose to focus on the mess, on the dark colors or you can choose to focus on the bright colors, the ones that give you a good feeling when you look at them. His choice was to look at those bright colors... and he suggested we do the same as we thought of her. I hope I did that story justice because it was an awesome tribute to his sister.

Otherwise life is good. We are still waiting for Paul and Lauren's baby. We are so stoked for his arrival and to put a name to that boy. Sam's still holding out for Murphy but I recently have become partial to the name Tank. I feel without question that it is truly a masculine name. Call me crazy.

I am scheduled for my next 6-week check-up this Wednesday. Please pray for an "all clear" report.

Love you all

Hold Fast

Mike

Ring

2009-01-16T07:03:00.000-08:00

I'm excited and waiting for the call that Lauren is in labor and our grandchild is on the way. Every time a phone rings I wonder if it's them and rush to pick it up.
Normally I'm not one of those people that runs for the phone every time it rings or grabs every phone call. In fact I ignore it a great deal of the time. I don't enjoy being a slave to a little piece of technology that is always commanding my attention. It was around the time of my first cell phone 9 years ago that I began to feel overwhelmed by the sound of so the ring. The house phone and my cell phone can both be ringing at the same time, not to mention Mike's cell, and then there is the call waiting or incoming text! So in theory I could be talking on the phone with one person in my home and there are three other ringing phones. Yikes! does that spell stress to you? I am rebelling against the run to the ring! I rebel against call waiting or picking up when I'm with someone else
So when do I pick it up? When I am not busy, alone and can sit down and give my full attention. Anyway all that to say that I am behaving in a way that is out of character for me and joining the masses of phone ring rushers, waiting for the call that Lauren is in labor. Yesterday was her official due date. Our new yet to be seen grandson is taking his perfect time to enter the world. We are praying for an easy and smooth delivery. Please pray with us.

Today

2009-01-10T07:18:00.000-08:00

WE are on baby watch now. Paul and Lauren are almost there. The due date is the 15th and we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of grandbaby #4$!!! and their first baby. It was just a few blinks ago that Paul was a baby, and just yesterday that he graduated from college and then got married. Wasn't it?
Time is a funny thing. It holds still for no one. What I do with my time today matters. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet here, so what I do today does matter. I won't get today back again, this is it. I'm not talking about watching time, and being a slave to the clock, but rather watching how I live out my time today. Do I love and reach out to others? am I living a life of integrity? am I generous? living my values? is my life today and the way I live it going to add to mine and others tomorrow in a positive way?

I love getting up early in the morning and grabbing that cup of coffee, I take some time alone to snuggle up with God, His word, and my journal. When I go to bed each night I am already anticipating and looking forward to the time the following morning. It is in this time first thing where I build on the foundation of my life, Jesus Christ. I can't do my day well without it. There was a day when I began by pitching myself into the day, rushing around, and at the end would throw myself into bed and get up to do it all over again. It wasn't a good time of my life, I was stressed and had no peace. Then in 1990 I began a practice of spending the early hours of each day with God. Reading, listening,seeking direction, and praying.....I found peace, true love and rest. It is here that I experience God in a way that words do not express. For me it is the single most important thing I do with my time because it is from my time with God that the rest of my life flows.

"Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, and you will find rest for your souls"

Why?

2009-01-07T08:32:00.000-08:00

Why? we never asked why when the cancer hit Mike last year. We never asked why during the treatment. I don't know why we didn't ask or wondered why God in all His Sovereignty allowed it into our lives. He used it to change us and grow us in many ways and is still using it. Many blessings came through it and one of the great blessings is to understand a fear, respect, appreciation and uncertainty of life. He taught us what a gift each day is and the Lord comforted us through many days of waiting and the unknown. When we walked out of the Stanford cancer center and left behind all those that were not as lucky as we were to get a "clean report" that was when we asked why? Why us Lord? WE were overjoyed but nonetheless asking why? Why were we spared?

Now we are asking why on behalf of our friends? A friend of ours that was diagnosed at the same time as Mike is struggling to stay alive while he waits and prays for a miracle, and now a close friend of ours is waiting to find out results of biopsies of several masses that they found last week.

Please pray for our friends. God comforted us through the cancer so that we in turn could comfort others with the same comfort that He gave us.
I am so thankful that I know that God is on the throne and in control. I am so thankful that by turning to HIM there is rest and peace for a weary soul that wants to know why. And in Him I rest knowing that He is holding and loving our friends though we may not understand this side of heaven why.

2009-01-04T17:39:00.000-08:00

The last few days while I recover from my face scabs, I've been painting. First I painted a couple of random things in my mind, then the grandkids and then Mike, before long I was thinking it would be neat to paint the whole family and make a collage to hang on the wall in the family room. Mike ran to the art store and bought me more canvas and this is it.. I did it...each individual picture is 8x10 and there are a total of 9. I am not trying to make a perfect likeness, but just enjoy trying to capture some aspect of the family I love so much. I got on a roll and before I knew it I had painted everyone. I am going to make a few adjustments to some of them, but my rule is to not over think it, but to instead enjoy what is coming out at the moment. I don't want to go psycho perfectionistic. Which I could do if I let myself and it would ruin the fun of it.

It is fun trying something new and creative. I am going to keep at it and see what happens, but one thing is for sure, I love doing it...it relaxes me and I find that I can do it for hours and the time just flies by. It's a time for God and me, I end up praying, singing songs I love, thinking, and dreaming of new things to try and do. All that to say, the last couple of days while my face heals from the skin cancer treatment, I have had a most relaxing time enjoying a new found love of painting.

Mike says that I should not post pictures of my scabby face....it's a public service really!

2009-01-03T06:20:00.001-08:00

The last 10 days our son was visiting, the last four days of his time, his girlfriend Jenna came to visit from Chicago. She by the way is awesome! Anyway Sam went back to Maui this morning. Evidence that the Christmas holiday is over. I have been enjoying and savoring every last day of it, the rest, the quiet, times with friends and family, food and more food, playing games into the night. Sam leaving means it's officially done and time to get back to our life. We love our time with our kids. We love the sounds of family and friends in the house, the sounds of laughter and conversation. We can be a loud family, and when everyone goes home and it's just Mike and I it is SO quiet! It takes a few days of adjusting, and we settle back in. Now Mike and I can be pretty rowdy and silly on our own rambling around in our house...anyone for a game of tag?

We have had a pretty incredible 2008, and 2009 is starting off with a bang as we await the arrival of Paul and Lauren's first baby..grand child #4! He's due in 14 days! I can hardly wait to see them both and hold him. It is a quite a wonderful feeling to see my baby having his first baby. Life is really wonderful and so precious. Everyday holds such new promise and hope. I am expectantly looking forward to great things in 2009!!
Paul and Lauren are the first picture
Sam and Jenna the next

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

2009-01-01T08:30:00.000-08:00

The one thing I know for sure is that God is working in my life. Often it is in the most subtle, almost unnoticeable way. Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly but ultimately there is an "awakening" to the reality of His hand at work. In the past I have ignored the Source of what is happening in my life only to fixate on my circumstances and worry and fret over the outcome.

The Serenity Prayer says, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

As we start 2009 a lot of us start off with the best of intentions for great change and accomplishment for this year. But after the experiences of 2008 I don't have any resolutions. What I have is gratitude that I am here, today, January 1, 2009. I am grateful for my wife and my life, for my kids and grandkids (at this time we are still waiting for #4 to come out of hiding), for great friends and for my faith and my relationship with God through Jesus.

The big question for me is, am I satisfied? No, not completely. So now what do I do? Back to the Serenity Prayer, asking God to show me how to find serenity (contentment, peace, joy) in my circumstances. And He does. How you ask? Through His Word, through prayer, by reaching out to other people. But it requires action on my part, whether it is dropping to my knees to pray, opening the Bible or picking up the phone. It just doesn't happen without me participating/cooperating.

I love the saying, NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES!!

HOLD FAST

Mike

yikes!

2008-12-31T18:01:00.000-08:00

Really how ugly can I get? It continues to worsen daily, but I am acting like nothing is going on with my face. It's funny how most people stare and don't say anything but keep staring. Every once in a while someone will look horrified and ask what's wrong with my face, or what happened? Personally I enjoy those comments because it breaks the awkward silence as they stare at my scabs and swollen face. I wish that I had some good lie to tell them. But really that wouldn't be a good start to the new year...as a liar I mean....however it is tempting and would seem more fun to come up with some great tale of adventure that resulted in my red scaly scabby skin.

I see the doctor on Monday I am hoping that he tells me that I am done with the treatment...I have been doing it for 3 weeks today...

Happy NEW YEAR!!

2008-12-30T07:41:00.000-08:00

I promised several people that I would show them what is happening to my face. I am actually getting used to it and the pain/burning is not really bothering me anymore. The swelling is most uncomfortable because it makes my skin feel dry and tight. I know.....I look terrible...oh well.
the moral of the story, USE SUNSCREEN...
I should be back to normal in a few weeks. This is but a mere insignificant bump in my life.

The Lord is, and has been so good and I am so grateful for all that my life is. Heading into the new year I am overwhelmed when I reflect back on His faithfulness. This past year we never lacked one thing. Our every need was covered, our prayers answered, and we were so loved. It made me a better person. Mike's cancer brought blessing after blessing to our lives, and I can say that I am thankful for what it taught me.

Christmas evening

2008-12-29T10:10:00.001-08:00

A FULL WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS DAY! We were at my moms with all my brothers, nieces and nephews! It's a great time of too much food, laughter, and lots of kids..I think I just realized this year what a loud family we are! I wouldn't have it any other way....

Christmas morning

2008-12-29T09:14:00.000-08:00

A great time!

A great day

2008-12-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

I am sitting looking out into the backyard. It's very pretty! The pool is extra blue with the sun shining down on it. The sky is also blue but with wisps of white clouds up high. I am glad I'm inside though because it's about 45 degrees out there. I just finished eating a peanut butter cookie someone blessed us with for Christmas and it tasted pretty dang good!

I was thinking about how amazing my life is today. You know, eight years ago I was single and kind of aimless. I was going to church but I wasn't really satisfied. Then I took a chance, I signed up to go on a mission trip to Mexico for 10 days. I was going to get out of myself and try to give something to others. For me it was kinda bold because I had a pretty comfortable existence just doing my own thing with minimal responsibility and little accountability. Well the trip was awesome. I spent time with a bunch of new people doing things that I was totally uncomfortable doing. But I was busting loose.

I should mention that it was on this trip that I got to know Susan. Though I had met her before and even chatted with her a little, we really spent some quality time hanging out and talking. I left Mexico with a major crush on her but was not optimistic about my chances with her.

When I got back to Modesto I was changed by this mission experience. I wanted more of what God had for my life. Somebody suggested I read the book, The Prayer of Jabez. I'm not a big reader but when I found out it was 92 pages long I was good to go. Back then I had a pool in my back yard, too. It was one of those peanut shaped, three-tier, blow-up jobs but it worked great when it was 105 degrees in the summer. So I laid in that little pool and read that little book.

1 Chronicles 4:10, "And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, 'Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, and Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!' So God granted him what he requested."

In the book the author suggested that you take this prayer as your own. The encouragement and the challenge was to pray Jabez's prayer from your heart for thirty days and watch and see how God works. Now I have faith in God but I also trip out on those guys on TV who tell you to send them $100 and watch God multiply your finances. God, as I understand Him, ain't no bell boy so I struggle with formulas like this. But I as I thought more about it and seeing that the prayer really reflected where I was at in my heart and knowing Philippians 4:6 says " . . . let your requests be made known to God," I went for it.

Is God able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think?

As I look back over the last eight years of my life the answer is ABSOLUTELY! My life is blessed in so many ways. I am learning a contentment I have never known before. I am married to an amazing woman (Susan) and have gone from 3 great kids to 6 of them plus 2 awesome daughters-in-law. And there are grandkids popping out all over the place.

Am I perfect? We all know the answer to that don't we? But it's about progress not perfection. So I keep on movin on, learning to enjoy life today.

I am into quotes/sayings - Depending on how you live it, the sole purpose of your life may be to serve as a warning to others. (let's hope not!!)

Hold fast

Mike

2008-12-23T05:39:00.000-08:00

This is our beautiful daughter in law Lauren 3 1/2 weeks from giving birth to our new grandson. We can't wait until he is here, but the hard part now is being far from Lauren and Paul. WE miss them so much.
Sam arrived last night from Maui for Christmas, presents are wrapped under the tree, and there is only some minor grocery shopping left to do.

With Christmas upon us and all that comes with it, it is still amazing to me how my time with the Lord and priorities can get pushed aside for those things that are not important. How I can get caught up in things that are maybe good, but not best. And in some cases I can get caught up in things that are not necessary at all. When this happens I feel the love get zapped right out of me and stress takes it's place. There is no reason for this to happen, if I keep my priorities in place and the Lord in first place. This is the season of love, right? and yet with the last minute crunch I am noticing that love and peace are not what I am seeing in the malls and stores. Are they seeing love and peace in me?
This morning when I was reading Colossians, chapter 3 verses 12-15 jumped out and are my meditation today. I am going to write it on a card and carry it with me. I am not feeling anxious or uptight, but I always want to show tons of love to others in the same way that Christ loves me.
"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another;even as Christ forgave you, so you must also do.
But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection, and let the peace of God rule your hearts....and be thankful....
When I go out to do last minute shopping(which I enjoy) these are great reminders to me to let the love of Christ pour out to others and not to get uptight if things do not go my way or as planned, say someone takes my parking place or takes forever in line, something like that.... I am going to pour out grace, love, and smile...in fact I am going to go one step further and look at every potential irritation today as an opportunity to bless someone.
It's stressful out there...let's spread that love and peace!

2008-12-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

The tree is up and Mike and I are loving listening to music and sitting by our tree. Yesterday Mike cracked walnuts, almonds roasted in the oven, and I painted while it drizzled outside. A perfect and relaxing day.
A few months ago we got rid of the T.V in the family room. At first we talked about getting a big screen television, but as time has gone on we have found reasons not to spend the money. It's been a great thing not having the TV. We talk more, we are reading more, and spending more time together. It's a relationship builder! It's amazing how much time I was drawn away from life with that thing on and I didn't even watch it that much. We are more creative and enjoying life more without the distraction. Hence the beginning of painting for me. I did this yesterday....I am trusting that with consistent practice that I will get better, but really the real fun is in the process and how relaxing it is for me to see something in my head come to life.
We pray that you too are enjoying a relaxing and wonderful celebration of Christ's birth this week!
On the skin cancer treatment front....ouch.my face is getting raw around my nose and eyes with little raw spots popping up all over my face. How attractive!

2008-12-20T07:41:00.000-08:00

We had little Addison yesterday...it was wonderful, a relaxed time of pure goodness and love. She is 5 weeks old. To hold her is to touch the love of God.

Today we are getting a tree. For the last two nights we have been over to friends homes that looked like beautiful winter wonderlands twinkling with lights and family traditions. We love the Lord, we love this time of year and I thought a lighted palm would do, but no, I was wrong, we're getting a tree, and are going to decorate the little tree in the front yard too. To Celebrate Christ without any lights just doesn't seem like a celebration at all. We tried it without the big tree, but it was like having a birthday party without anything special happening to mark it, no cake ,no balloons, no special show of love. How boring would that be? I'm excited to get our tree today and decorate it.
On the skin cancer treatment front, you can see that my face is not bad yet...just red and sore. I also agreed to do a cleanse from all refined foods for the next four days to give my body the right nutrients to heal from the treatment quickly, hoping to reduce the effects and promote quick healing.

2008-12-19T06:19:00.000-08:00

What was I thinking? I have been putting off for months dealing with the skin cancer on my face because the treatment sounded no fun and I was going to look hideous at the same time. Plus I was going to Maui and wanted to fully enjoy the sun on my face one last time.
With our Maui trip over, the time was now...
8 days ago I began the treatment. It's a toxic cream that you rub on your face, neck, and chest, morning and evening for two weeks. Wherever there are cancer cells or precancer cells, the skin becomes red, burning and irritated, eventually blistering. Everyone reacts differently, for some the redness and pain come right away, for some it comes the second week. That is where I am. My face began feeling like it is on fire yesterday and just in time for Christmas, my nose and the skin around it look like Rudolf! Even though my face feels like it is on fire I have to continue putting on the cream that causes the fire and blisters for another 7 days.
The blisters and scabs have yet to begin. Something to look forward to!
Why did I do it over the holiday's? because I have a light schedule at work for the next two weeks, and in a couple of weeks I will be beginning to heal when work picks back up. No guarantees, but losing a couple of wrinkles would be nice in the process. There really is no good time to have scabs all over your face, so why not now? I'll just avoid the Christmas picture taking...or I'll be the one with a bag on my head.
I have ben asking myself how bad will I look during this process? I've seen pictures of others and it looks awful. This will be a good practice in holding my head up and not feeling self conscious even though I look terrible.
I told friends that I would post pictures of me as it gets to full bloom...many friends in Maui are needing the same treatment from all our hours in the sun and are wanting to see me go through it first before they decide if it's worth it. I'm the guinea pig for the group.
The big question is? was all the time in the sun worth it? Yes it was! I love being outside even though now I will begin to wear sunscreen after this is all over. I love being in the sun and on the water too much to stop it. Plus let's face it, everything looks better with a tan. I'll try to remember I did this to myself when the blisters start.
(I'm not putting a picture up today, because my face is only red..like a sunburn..nothing to see yet)
Have a great day,
Susan

2008-12-18T06:47:00.000-08:00

"As a man thinketh"...
Christmas is almost here and I'm excited about the possibilities. When I was a kid every year I would get anxious and excited about the possibilities of what might be. Not knowing how to handle all my emotions I ended up with a stomach ache and feeling sick. Every emotion ended up in my digestive system and from there you can imagine the outcome. I am long over this!
I've grown up, but still get excited at the possibilities of every year, my family, friends, getting together with people we know and don't know. I'm a thinker. I love to ponder ideas and the what could be's of life. I love to picture and think on wonderful things, happy times, and how I can love others better.
I know from Scripture that my thinking matters, and when I think on what is lovely, pure, true, peaceful, loving, virtuous and good...."that as a man thinketh" so I am. I live out what I focus and meditate on. Today I am going to meditate on all that is good and right, lovely and praiseworthy. My life is so good and the possibilities are endless....I'm off to take my walk and think on those things, praising Him for the blessings all around me.

Love, Susan

Good report

2008-12-16T05:16:00.000-08:00

We went to Stanford yesterday for my check-up. We got a great report, everything was clear. Thank you Lord!!

It is a surreal experience walking back into the cancer center. This place where for months I was just able to put one foot in front of the other not really aware of the world around me. Now I walk in there, fully coherent and feeling strong but I see the other patients with their eyes closed, head down sitting and waiting for their treatment to be done for that day. I know their pain and there is nothing I can do for them. If I could speak to each of them I would say "hang in there" and pray! Prayer was so important to me during those days (not saying that it isn't still). But not big fat heavy long prayers but those small prayers where my mind was on Him and my need for Him was summed up with "help me Lord." Though I was worn down physically my emotions could be all over the board. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You." When my mind was fixed on the Lord, when His Word flowed over me I found that place of great comfort.

Thanks for your prayers and support for Susan, my family and me. Love you.

Hold fast

Mike

2008-12-14T15:21:00.000-08:00

In Maui I have all these super talented friends that paint and do phenomenal batiks. I come from a very artistic dad, and yet I have never tried my hand at anything much. I have dabbled with watercolors, but they are hard as a medium to begin with so I got frustrated and put them away (for now). I have some acrylics and a few practice canvas that I have been working up the nerve to paint on. I love to draw in on the edges of my Bible while I am studying and during my quiet time, or when on my walks I often feel inspired to do something artistic or to write. This morning during my quiet time and prayer I got this vision in my head and decided this was the day to pull out my paints and go for it. This is the result.....I am excited to play with the paints and begin painting the pictures I see in my head...

No this is not Mike...it's Susan just in case you wondered.

Tree or no tree

2008-12-14T05:56:00.000-08:00

Mike and I are trying to decide whether or not to buy a tree this year. I don't enjoy killing a tree, but love the smell in our home of the forest. Then last week my brother told me that the trees in the lots were cut down as early as August, so how much smell can be left? Then there is the whole thing of the fake tree. We had one in Maui and it served us well, but we gave it away before we left the island.
We don't want to be those drag older people that don't have a tree once the kids leave home. Up until this year we have been excited to get one up. This year however it seems with so many out of work and our communities financial struggle that the tree money can be used to Celebrate Christ by giving to others instead. We can celebrate Christ other ways and with lights on our palms in the house. Will the grandkids understand? Will our kids understand or think we've gone to the other side? Will I miss the tree if we don't get one? I think I might.
In our home growing up as soon as the boys went over 6 feet, the rule was it wasn't a Christmas tree unless it was taller then they were. The tallest two boys are 6'5, and one of them won't even be here. Sooooooo do we go for a Christmas tree or not?
Today is the day of decision....
Will we or won't we? What do you think?

2008-12-12T05:22:00.000-08:00

It's all perspective. How I look at things and think about them matters. It's my choice. My thoughts and what I do with them determine how I am going to live out my day. When I change my perspective I change the lens and change the view. For example yesterday I got up and a heavy blanket of fog was surrounding the house. Instead of griping about it, I looked out thinking that outside it feels like I am living in a black and white picture, and in my home is full of warmth and color. I had a whole new perspective on the fog and am enjoying it today and yesterday.
I have choices to make all day, perspective, attitude, my faith, health, money, family, commitments, relationships, priorities, ....how I will be and how I will act is up to me and will have a direct impact on my tomorrow. Today matters and what I do with it effects me and others. What if we all took a different and positive perspective on life and lived in such a way that our today would positively influence our tomorrows. Positive begets positive and we could spread hope and love to everyone we meet.
I'm in this thing lately of smiling at everyone I pass. I really like people and like to smile, so why hold back? Very rarely do I not get a smile in return, but better still, I feel great doing it. The blessing is all mine and it makes for a very happy day.

"Nothing changes if nothing changes"
When I change everything changes.

They say it's your birthday!!

2008-12-11T05:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many of you like the show The Office? I really don't care for it but a couple of nights ago Susan was watching it. The episode was about the office "celebrating" Michael's birthday. It was actually pretty funny. You need to watch it because I can't explain it. Michael brought in donuts and stood by the box announcing to everyone that someone brought in donuts for his birthday, so that people would say happy birthday to him.

Regardless, Susan encouraged me to write about my birthday, which is today! I am so happy to be here! How blessed am I.

It has been quite a year and I, Susan am celebrating that Mike was born. He was and still remains the best gift that I have ever received. When we got married we decided that we were not going to buy each other presents for occasions because we WERE each others gifts! nothing else could even come close to what we had in each other. I still feel that way, even though as gifts we are less than perfect, sometimes talk back and don't always shine so brightly as a beautifully wrapped package. I'm the winner on Mike's birthday because God gifted me with him. I don't know what we are going to do tonight yet, we kind of had our big yahoo the last 10 days in Maui...but all the kids are coming over Saturday morning for a birthday breakfast feast.

Let's all celebrate Mike and the day he was born! Life is a precious gift, and my life is richer and better with Mike in it. The last 7 years have been the best of my life, because of the gift of my Mike.
Happy Birthday honey, and I love you!

Not enough time

2008-12-09T06:48:00.000-08:00

This is Hoku, Susan's cousin. We are her guardians and the original reason we came to Maui. When we lived here Susan would come down to spend time with her during the week and then we would see her on the weekends. She had no seen us since February and though she is severely developmentally disabled she must have missed us alot. Sam would visit her in our absence but the workers at the group home she lives in said it was not the same. Though she does not speak she says so much.

We were in Maui and then we were not. Like the Kona winds, here one day gone the next. It was amazing to be back on island and so incredible to see so many friends. There just wasn't enough time to see and hang with everyone. In a lot of cases all we got was a hug and a few words and we were off. It was like trying to fit a whole life into 10 days. The love, prayers and support we have received from our Maui ohana has blessed us beyond words. We love you guys and miss you!

I am going to Stanford next Monday for my next "every six week" check-up. I have been having some issues on my tongue and in my throat. Please pray that it is just normal residuals of the treatments that I have had.

A hui hou!

Fog

2008-12-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

We're back in foggy Modesto. Last night we pulled in about 1 am. As we drove home we came upon the fog or did the fog come upon us? At any rate the fog closed in around us and disoriented us to our surroundings. We were tired from a 5 hour flight, sad at having to leave our friends and the beauty and warmth of Maui, and now we were in the fog. I really do not like the fog, in fact I have not one good thing to say about it. I'm a very positive person and see the good in things...but with the fog, I can find nothing. It's cold, damp and covers the colors of nature.
Fog makes me want to complain. In fact I think I am complaining. Do you mind? It was 38 when we pulled into Modesto and the house was a cold 42 degrees! Out came the down comforters and heater went on. Snuggle up time!!!!! (Two are better than one)
If anyone can tell me why the fog is a neat thing, I would love to hear about it...I'm sure that there is some scientific reason that it is good and worthwhile, but right now we are missing Maui....can you blame us?

2008-12-05T19:29:00.000-08:00

Boo hoo....we have to leave Maui soon....

2008-12-05T08:27:00.000-08:00

what next?

2008-12-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

We've been off line for a few days...What have we been up to? Stand up paddling up and down the shoreline for the couple of days and laughing with friends. We are having a great time and we still have three days left!

spoiled

2008-12-02T08:41:00.000-08:00

WE feel spoiled by friends and spoiled by God. So many people that we didn't know have come up to us ad told of how they have prayed for us and love us. We don't know them, but they know us from the reading the blog and praying for Mike for so many months. We're on an island full of friends. Where ever we go we run into someone that cares about us. It's a lot of fun. So yesterday we walked on the beach, collected sea glass and shells, visited Hoku,and then arrived at our new destination for the next few days...

should I call a lifeguard?

2008-11-30T16:47:00.000-08:00

Our sunset tonight

2008-11-29T22:41:00.000-08:00

Can you guess where we are? We are so overwhelmed by the love of our friends here in Maui and the Lord's creation. Pictures outside our bedroom window the last few days and a picture of Hoku.

Thanksgiving came early

2008-11-25T07:32:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday we celebrated Thanksgiving as a family. Paul, Lauren, and Sam couldn't be here and it wasn't complete without them, but nonetheless we ate Turkey and all the fixin's...WE had a great time being together. Little Addison is now two weeks old and 6# 10 ounces. Mariah ate her first whole turkey leg! She did a good job too..

2008-11-20T04:43:00.000-08:00

One of the greatest gifts of life is life itself... little Addison Grace is now 12 days old. There are no words to tell of how amazing it is to love her. Yesterday she loved her bath in the kitchen sink and is giving you a wave...she's brilliant! and beautiful!

2008-11-19T07:11:00.000-08:00

I'm challenged to write and keep up since our son Paul has stepped up his blogging. When Mike was sick with the cancer and going through the treatment this kept me/us connected to the outside world and socially connected to those that we loved. Now Mike is regaining strength and we are full into life and schedules and we have lost connection. We miss it...we miss the interaction that we had with everyone even if it was through email and the blog. We miss the relationships that came with the cancer.
Yes it's true cancer had it's blessings. we found the love of so many for us. By the way Mike is recovering well and as of now they feel no cancer...we go back to Stanford in a few weeks for another check up and exam..

Right now I am in wonder of the leaves and the changing colors when I walk. Even the fog this morning is creating a sense of awe in me. Yesterday I saw the hand of God move in my life. So many pieces came together and for a moment and I couldn't believe the love and the excitement of being in that place. It was like being a little kid and it felt as if all your dreams came true. It was delightful, wonderful, exciting, and awkward all at the same time. I don't know if I really feel that comfortable with total abandonment to those over the top moments in life. They are such gifts from God...I wonder if God gives me such a gift and I don't completely embrace and enjoy it, what does that say to the giver? Do I spoil the gift and the receiving of the gift in some way? and what would it be like to just go crazy and let myself totally go and BE excited and love every moment of the gift?

I'm almost 50 and I am praying for the heart of delight of a child. I want the second half of my life to be more exciting than my first half. To love and connect more. To really embrace my life and the Lord to the fullest!

2008-11-16T17:21:00.000-08:00

I love this photo....

How good is life?

2008-11-11T07:44:00.000-08:00

First off I don't cry, much. Even with this whole cancer thing no tears of sadness. When I have cried it was out of the blessings that have been showered on Susan and me. And how sweet is this new little joy that has entered our lives. Addison Grace, now that makes me tear-up. She is just a peanut at 6 pounds, Jake was almost 11 pounds when he was born.

I am grateful for the easy birth for Mariah and everybody, Mom, dad and baby our doing great. My quiver is continuing to fill. Just 2 more months until Paul and Lauren will bring forth another. A little boy with a mystery name, code name Murphy. I am grateful to be here to see Addie and look forward, Lord willing, to be around for Murphy and many more. But most of all thank you Lord for today! May we who name the name of Christ walk in His strength. Micah 6:8

Hold fast

Mike

Little Addison is born!

2008-11-08T18:53:00.000-08:00

All 6 pounds of love entered the world today with a healthy cry..Mariah and Jacob are doing great and baby is beautiful! Jacob is a proud daddy with his proud daddy..Mariah is beaming!

Yawn!

2008-11-08T03:13:00.000-08:00

What is the appropriate greeting at 3 am? Good morning? Good middle of the night?

Well whatever, here I am. I can't sleep and I think I'm getting sick. I have that vague sore throat thing that happens to you at the early onset of getting sick with something? It's funny, I have been in and out of Stanford over the last 8 months and except for cancer and the side effects of treatment I haven't been sick at all. So I decide I should go see my primary, General Practitioner doctor guy to have a regular check-up and WHAM I am getting sick. I guess that figures since those kind of offices are where all the really sick people go with their colds and flu and da kine. It's all good.

Today is the day Jacob and Mariah are having their baby. So I am sitting here drinking herbal tea (lemon ginger) eating chewable vitamin C's. I have also taken some zinc. All this in an effort to avoid going down with some random disease. My hope is not to be quarantined from our new granddaughter. But as in everything, it is out of my hands.

So if you are reading this blog this morning, Saturday, PLEASE PRAY for Mariah that she would have an easy labor and for Addie, that she would come into this world easily and healthy. And Jacob to have peace while this is happening to his wife and daughter.

I was talking to my "old" friend Eugene yesterday. We were tripping on the fact that it was Jacob's 28th birthday. Crazier yet is Sarah will be 31 next week. Dang, how did that happen? The kids are grown up and are having kids themselves. What was cool in my conversation with Eugene was I could share how blessed I am today to have not just 3 kids but 6 great children (adults), let me make that 8 counting Mariah (Jacob's wife) and Lauren (Paul's wife). I am so proud of each of them. They are all amazing people. And the numbers keep growing. Paul and Lauren are just 2 months away from the next grandson showing up. Please pray for them, too!

My life is good in spite of me. Every day is a gift, sore throat or no. I have a sweet relationship with Christ, an AWESOME wife, great kids and amazing friends. For me that's what is important.

Can I suggest that you call, e-mail or go by and see somebody today you haven't connected with in a while. Somebody who is important to you and let them know that they are. Love'm today.

Hold fast

Mike

Hope is visiting

2008-11-01T18:20:00.000-07:00

Our daughter Hope came for a weekend visit. WE've been playing NERTZ, (a card game), went shopping and are having a great time.

It's Halloween

2008-10-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

What is cuter than little kids in costumes? Our grandkids Katie and Colin came by and our friends the Stubberts...ARen't they cute!

Another good report!

2008-10-30T06:19:00.000-07:00

I met yet another new doctor yesterday, Dr. Yates. He is an Ear, Nose and Throat (ENT) guy. The one thing about ENT's is that they all look like real doctors. They all have those headbands with the little round mirror on the front. All very official looking. It is extremely important that they project this image since they cram their hands down your throat and tell you not to gag. Their mere word is enough to stop this response - yeah whatever!

Actually everything went great. He checked me out and said it all looks great! Praise the Lord for a good report. So we are good to go for 6 more weeks.

Hold fast

Mike

Baby???

2008-10-29T05:32:00.000-07:00

Anyday now we are going to have a new grand daughter. Mariah had false contractions last night. We are waiting and even though little Addison is not due for another two weeks, pre labor has already begun. The doctor said within the next couple of days we are going to have our third grandchild. Please pray for Mariah, Jacob and little Addison's birth. That it would go quickly and all would be healthy. We can't wait to post pictures for you!

Aloha!!